dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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