I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We are all done wearing pants today
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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