Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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