Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I look better un-naked...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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