You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
