I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
