I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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