I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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