youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
