I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Do vagina's smell?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
