I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
