she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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