I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
