My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
