I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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