yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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