Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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