I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
