I feel like I'm in dance class right now
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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