it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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