Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
