belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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