If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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