Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize