I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
two words...techno handjob
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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