So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
