I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
