so that wasnt chicken after all
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
