I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
