so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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