Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
