Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
