Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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