i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
