And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
