adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
