And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
