he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I wish there were birth control emojis
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
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