I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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