mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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