roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
