Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
