Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I need a burrito and a hug.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
