I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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