im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
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