Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
