Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
two words: eviction party
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
