so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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