Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I need moral support for this bender
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
