I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Randomize
