there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
