Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
