he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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