tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
soo... how was my night?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize