The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
