we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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