I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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