I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
