Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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