so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
