yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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