my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize