he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I have post one night stand depression
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